By Mark Willis, Stake Mental / Emotional Support Specialist

Do you remember what it feels like to be alone emotionally, even though there are others around you physically? Do you have life experience of sending a text message or making some phone call more easily because another individual was at your side? Can you imagine the embrace from a loved one who has been missed for so long?

Is it surprising to hear that statistically, elderly couples live longer than single people living alone?

Sue Johnson, founder of emotionally focused couples therapy (EFT), teaches that having close ties with others is vital to every aspect of ourselves. Decades ago the communities we lived in offered more common beliefs, events, and gatherings where we could naturally find ourselves with closer ties to other people. The community we lived in may have had a feeling of unity for collectively rallying around causes and projects that bred togetherness.

We live in a time when homes have more square footage per person. Yet having larger, newer and brighter spaces alone hasn’t magically resulted in happier marriages. Building emotional, spiritual and mental connections with other people is real work, with the “how-to’s” not something found within many mainstream media outlets.

Emotional distancing isn’t a recommended social practice….and there are still ways to achieve emotional closeness in a time of social distancing outside of the home.

Satan understands the power of men and women united in righteousness. He is still stinging from his banishment into eternal exile after Michael led the hosts of heaven, comprised of valiant men and women united in the cause of Christ, against him. In the chilling words of Peter, “The devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” Lucifer is determined to devour marriages and families, because their demise threatens the salvation of all involved and the vitality of the Lord’s kingdom itself. Thus, Satan seeks to confuse us about our stewardships and distinctive natures as men and women.

He bombards us with bizarre messages about gender, marriage, family, and all male-female relationships. He would have us believe men and women are so alike that our unique gifts are not necessary, or so different we can never hope to understand each other. Neither is true.

“This divine pattern for men and women that strengthens marriages and families also fortifies the Church. It is not good for man or woman to be alone.” Sheri L. Dew

When I first attended 12-step meetings, my father came with me. With my dad sitting by my side, I felt less shame about needing help. I was gathered into the room of (with every seat filled) as we talked about the principle of Hope – which is: Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health.

I walked out that cold night in Rexburg, knowing that I wanted to come back and attend another meeting the next week. My dad, acting as a sponsor, was a temporary bridge to a long-term need I had of allowing Christ more fully into my life. The ARP program became a boon of the “Atonement Realization Program” to me.

Alma’s words summarize my experience going from pains of surviving in addition to the joy of thriving in a recovery community when he taught: “There could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, . . . that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.” — Alma 36:21

My dad hasn’t been through the 12-Steps himself, and that was “ok.” The heartfelt place he gave that first evening, showed me that I was accepted and worthy of love at a time when my mistakes and inner voices had convinced me otherwise. The lies started to fall off that said, I was a lost cause more than a priceless Child of God.

In Brigham City and the surrounding areas, we have a large need for individuals who can help support others walking the road of recovery, and you can be part of the solution. Exactly “why” each person is in 12-step is as varied as any of us can imagine. While our struggles are each unique and the way to healing and wholeness comes through Christ all the same, and it’s a blessing to be part of witnessing.

Elder Ballard said: “I testify to you that your body, mind, and spirit can be transformed, cleansed, and made whole, and you will be freed.” “O That Cunning Plan of the Evil One.” I know that the joy of seeing one individual come unto Christ is the greatest blessing in my life and that blessing is available to others too.

Please reach out with questions for yourself or others who may need help. Feeling alone, without community, or a peer is a feeling no one needs to feel. The ARP program is just one way available to find Christ. There are resources for every person’s interest and willingness to have or get help.