by David E Bay, High Councilor

Several years ago, I had the opportunity of being assigned to home teach a sister who had lost her arm to amputation. Although I tried to be considerate and attempted to have empathy, I really did not understand her situation. Recently however, I obtained some insight as to what it is like to not have the use of an arm after surgery on my shoulder and a nerve block, given intentionally by the anesthesiologist, left my arm numb and unresponsive for nearly 36 hours. Sometimes and probably more often than we are willing to admit, the only way to learn is by having experience.

Part of our mortal existence is that we could learn and grow by doing those things that would allow us to feel both happy and sad emotions, to learn to accomplish difficult things by overcoming obstacles, and to be able to learn and grow by the decisions and choices that we make. One of the interesting sides of our experience is that although there are results to our actions, sometimes we do not see those results very quickly.

“We knew before we were born that we were coming to the earth for bodies and experience and that we would have joys and sorrows, ease and pain, comforts and hardships, health and sickness, successes and disappointments, and we knew also that after a period of life we would die. We accepted all these eventualities with a glad heart, eager to accept both the favorable and unfavorable. We eagerly accepted the chance to come earthward even though it might be for only a day or a year. Perhaps we were not so much concerned whether we should die of disease, of accident, or of senility. We were willing to take life as it came and as we might organize and control it, and this without murmur, complaint, or unreasonable demands” (Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle, 106).

“Much suffering comes as a direct result of sin. … Other trials come as a result of unwise choices. … Yet other challenges come as a natural result of mortality and the world we live in. We are mortals with bodies that will age and may become ill or injured.” (Learning through Life’s Trials by Larry Richman From a devotional address given at Brigham Young University—Idaho on October 30, 2007) And all of us will die someday.

 As I look at my life, I can see many different places where I did not learn all that I needed to until I had experienced it for myself. I, like you, have both positive and negative memories. For example:

• As a young child, I did not understand what it was like to attend school until I had attended.
• I had no clue as to what a thrill balancing on a bicycle would bring to me until I could do it by myself. I still enjoy the satisfaction of moving quickly and quietly on a bike that moves by the use of my muscles.
• I became hypnotically captured by the power of the ocean. First by watching the surf pound the shore. And then by swimming in the waves and being tossed and tumbled back to the beach.
• I learned to enjoy the mastery of my body by running distances. I remember the comfort of my sore legs after finishing my first marathon at an average speed of just over 6 ¾ miles per hour.
• Before my mission, actual access to a computer was rare, but I felt driven to be able to learn to program them. I remember the excitement of being able to write a program and save it on a paper punch tape and then be able to run the program on the mainframe computer by using a teletype machine. I am still excited to create programs that save me and others time and energy. Young people today can be much more skilled in programming than I was because they have had a lifetime of access to working with these logical machines.
• As a teenager, I was heartbroken with the loss of romantic love.
• I did not really know what to expect when I became a full-time missionary and entered the Language Training Center (the forerunner to the MTC). Once I started to feel comfortable with how things worked there, I was sent to Tokyo, Japan. I was pushed outside of what I was comfortable with over and over during my mission there. I did not know before serving a full-time mission, the powerful spiritual peaks as well as the emotional valleys and struggles I would need to go through to serve faithfully as a representative of Jesus Christ.
• I was devastated when my first marriage failed. I felt like giving up but could not because I had three small children to care for.
• Being a member of a team and accomplishing important things has been a great opportunity both as I served in the US Army, and in industry as well as in the Church of Jesus Christ.
• I often feel the love that comes from my Savior, Jesus Christ, and my Heavenly Father as I repent and improve. Occasionally, I get a glimpse of the love that They have for others of my brothers and sisters.
• I get energized by building things that are useful and tangible. Over the years I have built shelves and made other useful items for our home and yard.
• There is a joyful powerful sense of love and teamwork as I am a full partner in a marriage that we are striving to make celestial. I enjoy working with my eternal companion in solving parenting and other challenges. I love the connection that I have with Coleen and our children and grandchildren.
• Most of the time my body works just right, but sometimes it has totally failed to perform as I expected. I have been very humbled to be reminded of my mortality and that my body will someday die and stop functioning entirely. I am grateful for modern medicine that can extend my mortality and my ability to continue to serve those I love.
• I have had very sacred messages communicated to me by the Spirit. I know God lives and loves us. Spiritual experiences are very similar to those other activities that we cannot understand until we experience them. It becomes difficult to let another person feel what you felt as the Holy Ghost bore witness to your heart about the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon and other things. Fortunately, the Holy Ghost will bear witness to others too.

I hope you will take a moment or two after reading this and consider for yourself what experiences have been foundational in your life that would never be able to be replaced by someone else explaining their experience. Even if mortal humans are not fully capable of sharing all of the dimensions and nuances of the experience, sometimes it can be helpful to hear or read accounts of others.

Perhaps you will gain insight as you consider some of those things that have given you growth and direction in your life.