by Mark Willis, Stake Mental / Emotional Support Specialist

About 10 years ago, I first met with a therapist to work on my mental health and to have intervention to avoid taking further steps towards divorce. I was given the instruction to not make any major life changes that I could hold off on making so that my decisions could be more intentional, productive, and sound minded. The levels of stress and anxiety I was feeling at that time were on a spectrum that was diagnosed as anxiety/depression, manic depression (bipolar 2).

Being in that state of mind, I was strongly opposed to sitting around while life felt so uncomfortable and out of control. I felt that life needed to change for me as quickly as possible, instead of allowing life lessons to point me inward to find the peace and stability I was looking for.

Life events can rock our emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, and financial world, regardless of how confident we are in the understanding that “all things will be for our good”. It’s normal to have big feelings and strong emotions when these difficult things present themselves. Some of major life events I have seen myself or others experience include:

• Infertility, pregnancy, birth, miscarriage, adoption, failed in vitro fertilization, or stillborn birth
• A child leaving the home – for military, college, mission, losing a child, or a child entering a new independent life
• Marriage/divorce – either your own, a parent, or a child
• Work Status changes- unemployed, underemployed, discouraged job seeker, or transitional employee
• Starting, buying, selling a business
• Buying/selling a home
• Significant changes in financial stability – inheriting property, foreclosure, bankruptcy, legal troubles
• Retirement
• Illness – be it explained/unexplained, treatable/untreatable, chronic/life altering
• Death of a loved one – unexpected, unexplained, unforeseen, including by suicide
• Someone we love questioning their faith, changing their membership status, or becoming hostile towards others

That’s a heavy list of things that come upon us in mortality, many times when we might term the timing as inconvenient for our own plans. If your current, past, or future struggles aren’t listed in the bullet points above, it doesn’t mean they are not valid, big enough, or significant. Based on each of our own life’s experiences, some things can be traumatic and life changing.

“We easily can be overcome by the routine and mundane matters of mortality. Sleeping, eating, dressing, working, playing, exercising, and many other customary activities are necessary and important. But ultimately, what we become is the result of our knowledge of and willingness to learn from the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost; it is not merely the sum total of our daily pursuits over the course of a lifetime” (David A. Bednar, “Exceeding Great and Precious Promises,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2017, 93)

From Chapter 4 in the “Finding Strength in the Lord, the Emotional Resilience” manual:

Stress and anxiety are normal parts of life. These words describe ways the brain and body respond to any demand, such as a problem at work, a test at school, or an important decision. Normal amounts of stress and anxiety can help you focus, reach your goals, and protect your body. For example, if you have some stress about your job, you will likely come to work prepared and focused on your tasks.

Stress and anxiety help keep you alive but feeling stress and anxiety too often or for too long can cause significant problems and lead to mental illness. If you are dealing with too much stress and anxiety, you might get sick often, have headaches, feel angry, have drastic changes in your appetite, or experience a lack of focus.

You may start to feel overwhelmed by your job, or you may not want to go to work because you fear something bad will happen or that you will not be good enough. These are signs that you are feeling distress or debilitating levels of stress and anxiety.

Stress and anxiety can impact your ability to feel the Spirit or distort your understanding of spiritual promptings.

Sister Reyna I. Aburto said, “If we are constantly sad and if our pain blocks our ability to feel the love of our Heavenly Father and His Son and the influence of the Holy Ghost, then we may be suffering from depression, anxiety, or another emotional condition” (“Thru Cloud and Sunshine, Lord, Abide with Me!” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2019, 57).

While feeling stress and anxiety may be outside our locus of control, we are not left comfortless. Thanks be to our Heavenly Parents for providing continual and ongoing tools to manage, cope and respond with light to life, even in the hardest moments. When we are in those moments, the “next right thing” is to seek inspiration and guidance to make incremental steps towards more healthy living.

May each of us be willing to look at our own lives, identify something that brings us stress or anxiety and find further ways to surrender it to our Savior as he invites us to cast on him our every care.